Unleash the Dark Brandon!!!

July 7, 2024

I’m sure this will be obvious, but before I begin this post I want to disclose that I’m neither a lawyer nor a political strategist, just a frustrated Democrat who, like all of us, is terrified right now of the looming fascist takeover of Trump/Project 2025/The Federalist Society, and who is trying to come up with reasons to be hopeful.

This post isn’t to try to convince anyone that Biden should step down. Well, I guess it is tangentially, but not completely. What I really want to convince anyone who might be reading that this is not time for politics-as-usual.

Now that the Supreme Court has conferred total immunity on Presidents, it’s cathartic to joke about Biden sending Seal Team 6 to Mar-a-Lago or to wherever Martha Ann is fondly flying her flags, but no one REALLY wants that to happen. But I for one would LOVE to see Biden unleash some of his new powers to demonstrate just how dangerous they would be in the wrong hands.

I know I know…smart legal types will argue against this, correctly stating that the Federalist Society-packed Supremacist Court has declared itself the arbiter of what is and isn’t an “official act” that’s immune from prosecution; they’ll decide that whatever Trump and Republicans do is “official” and whatever Biden and any other Democrats do is criminal. I get this. But…so what? This argument, while true, presumes that we’re still dealing with a somewhat normal political environment. As I see it, if Trump (god forbid!) wins and the right-wing fundamentalist Project 2025 autocrats take over, Biden and his whole family are going to face the real possibility of jail ANYWAY. Why do I think this? Because Trump and right-wing media SAY SO every time they make some bogus allegation against the so-called “Biden Crime Family.”

As Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

I mean, it’s POSSIBLE that Trump and his fellow fascists might find it politically expedient NOT to pursue his vendetta against Biden and his family after the election, if they don’t want to risk rattling the nerves of a jittery public so soon. But if I were Biden, I wouldn’t count on that—I’d already be making plans for asylum in another country if (god forbid) Trump wins in November. So why NOT use his newfound presumption of immunity to ACTUALLY push back hard on the fundamentalist billionaires and right-wing zealots supporting Trump’s rise to power by pulling some high-profile political shenanigans? Why not take some bold action?

Like what, you ask? I don’t know…maybe fire Merrick Garland, appoint a new Attorney General (giving them a preemptive presidential pardon) and have them round up billionaires like Harlan Crow, whichever Koch brother hasn’t yet been called to hell, and Leonard Leo on trumped-up charges. (Sedition?) Maybe even Clarence and Ginny, Big Salmon and Martha Ann themselves!

I know, I know…I’m huffing the hopium. It’s not realistic. I’m watching too many TV shows, etc.

BUT…isn’t the lack of imagination part of the reason Democrats don’t inspire the enthusiasm that Republicans do to whip up their base? Some people might say this extreme action would be unrealistic/impossible for Biden, but would it be unrealistic/impossible for Trump? I don’t think so.

If Biden would step down and pass the baton to a younger rising star, whether Harris or someone else (I know, I know…I’ll be criticized for imagining the “unicorn” candidate), he could then really be free to unleash Dark Brandon. This way Biden could step aside without losing his pride, still going down as a fighter—a more effective fighter than I believe he can be as a candidate who has to go on a nonstop roadshow to prove he’s not feeble. And the new Democratic candidate could campaign on a promise to try to pass a constitutional amendment that clarifies that NO ONE is above the law, even the President of the United States. I can picture a joint press conference with his successor, in which Biden explains that he only exerted this previously illegal display of executive power to prove a point—“If a nice, decent guy like ME can get away with doing this, then what happens if this power is given to an amoral convicted felon who says he wants to be dictator on DAY one…a guy who spent his whole career as a casino owner using the courts to cheat small businesses!” He can say that he specifically didn’t use his powers to arrest Trump on false charges because Trump is already on the hook for so many REAL crimes. He can say that he’ll release the billionaires and the most corrupt members of SCOTUS in a few weeks…he only meant to make an example out of them to prove a point, and also to give them a time-out in Club Fed to teach them how it feels to be powerless. He can say that he hopes that they use that time to reflect on their version of Christianity, which seeks to pummel other faiths into submission, and how it differs from the actual teachings of Jesus, who promoted humility, empathy and kindness.

Or, I don’t know…can Joe have the IRS seize some money from some right-wing bazillionaires (maybe just a billion or two each, an amount they probably won’t even REALLY notice, considering that they already have exponentially more wealth than they could possibly spend on themselves in one lifetime)? And then could he redistribute those funds to families receiving SNAP assistance, along with an official letter letting recipients know that if they don’t vote for Democrats, then Trump and Project 2025 will try to literally take food from their children’s mouths? Sending a letter like that along with a government payment would be a violation of the Hatch Act, you say? Why, yes…yes it would! Did Trump give a flying f*ck about violating the Hatch Act when he was president, even before Republicans in that office were granted blanket immunity? No…no he certainly didn’t!  So, why should Biden still play by the rules? He could make himself the Robin Hood lame-duck president, taking from the rich to give to the poor, and thereby up-ending the Republicans’ brand of being the party of the working guy by forcing MAGA politicians to go on record saying they’re outraged about the fate of the poor billionaires who are crying on their gold-plated yachts.

Admittedly, I know nothing about the workings of the IRS or how long something like this could take, but if not something this extreme, then, I don’t know…SOMETHING?

And maybe, in tandem with his Democratic successor trying to pass an Amendment to the Constitution limiting presidential power, Biden could use his Dark Brandon stunt as a test for the courts, and plan to lose his Supreme Court case for the sake of the United States. (Assuming, of course, that a Democrat is in office and he is guaranteed a presidential pardon and Medal of Honor. Again, if Trump wins, I’m assuming Biden will have to leave the country anyway.) I think it would be GREAT to see the Federalist Society justices have to publicly make an abrupt about-face when it comes to immunity and overturn all or most of their previous ruling. And if a Democrat wins and can pursue a Constitutional Amendment, I love the idea of the dilemma the MAGA members of Congress would be in—do they support or oppose a Democratic President (Harris or other) when she/he is trying to rein in her/his own power?

I know, I know, I know….I think most of the liberals I follow on social media will tell me how unrealistic this is. This is all political-drama-TV fantasy. They’re furious at anyone expressing anything other than complete confidence in Biden and the status quo. They’ll tell me that it’s too late for Biden to step down…that no party has won when they’ve swapped out a candidate this late in the game. But through the years I’ve also read many articles making the point that enthusiasm drives voter turnout and wins elections. I’m terrified that the status quo just isn’t that inspiring.

To those who say that Harris at the top of the ticket will whip up vile racist and misogynistic opposition, I agree with you. It’s awful, but true. But that is ALREADY happening, and if Harris remains in the VP slot she can’t even defend herself or go on the offensive and explain how she has the experience to be a great leader. She’ll be stuck toeing the party line that, despite what we all saw on the debate stage, Biden will be able to effectively serve out the next four years as the leader of the free world, no problem, and there’s virtually no chance that she’ll be called upon to step in and take over.

To those who say that it would be impossible to replace Harris because she’s the only one who will have access to the Biden/Harris war chest, I have to ask, why? Because of campaign finance laws? Mwaahaha! Based on the Supreme Court’s ruling, I don’t think Biden has to follow any stinkin’ campaign finance laws! (I’m not saying we SHOULD bypass Harris, I’m just saying I don’t think this is a reason.)

To those who say it would be impossible to replace Harris because the campaign has already been built around the Biden/Harris ticket, I understand, but I think the debate, the Supreme Court and Project 2025 have changed the equation. Whatever standard “look at our accomplishments!” messaging has been developed, even though it’s true, is not going to be enough to move the needle and should be completely revamped anyway. (Again, I’m not saying we necessarily SHOULD bypass Harris.)

As far as I can tell, most of my liberal friends right now are demoralized after the events of the past few weeks. I certainly am. And I know…I know…authoritarianism feeds on making us feel hopeless. That’s why we really need a WIN right now, some kind of jolt to get us excited. I’d rather see Biden demonstrate his strength and dedication to Democracy by unleashing Dark Brandon than by just getting all shouty and belligerent at campaign rallies and interviews.

Whatever happens, we need momentum, and we need something bold to achieve it. Whether or not Biden steps down, I think we need to see some Dark Brandon energy. That’s really what I’m asking.

And, as a P.S. for anyone who is outraged at anyone like me voicing the idea that Biden should step down for the sake of the country, please remember that we democracy-loving liberals all want the same thing—to stop Trump and Project 2025’s fascist takeover of the country we love. As much as you might believe that my voicing of concerns about Biden being able to win is amplifying that narrative and becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, people like me believe that you standing in the way of replacing Biden with a younger candidate who can inspire enthusiasm is tantamount to meekly handing over the country to the MAGA cult. None of us can predict the future; we can only go with our guts and try to advocate for what we think is the best path forward at this moment. During the next few stressful weeks when things seem like they might be up-in-the-air, I ask that we all please just be kind to each other, knowing that whatever leadership decisions are made at the top, we will ultimately all band together to do the important work of beating Donald Trump. (And yes, the narrative should and will go back to how fundamentally, dangerously awful Trump is.)