Nov 14

Nov 14 Q's Clues: a Screenplay - PART 2

November 14, 2020

This is the tale of Karen and Kevin Kilkenny—middle-aged suburban QAnon followers who are on a quest to solve Q’s clues in order to help the handsome, dashing version of Donald Trump who exists only in their minds, and defeat the evil witch Hillary Clinton and her pizza-eating pedophile cabal.

The quest leads the Kilkennys south to Georgia and down to Mar a Lago.

PART 2

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

Karen and Kevin hike through the woods holding flashlights. Kevin is holding out his gun. Karen is holding her crowbar.

KAREN
I can’t believe we’re really here doing this! We’re actually going to help President Trump!

KEVIN
It was nice of Les to agree to watch Michelle while we make sure the pedophiles don’t break into the camp.

KAREN
I’m so glad we can be part of bringing on the STORM!

KEVIN
We should be pretty close to the perimeter of the children’s camp by now.

KAREN
I feel like we’re the detectives in the Hart to Hart TV show!

KEVIN
Shhh….we don’t want anyone to hear us.

KAREN
Right, right…

KEVIN
Did you hear that?

KAREN
What?

KEVIN
I thought I heard voices.

KAREN
Oh my gosh, do you think it’s Killary’s troops?

KEVIN
I don’t know…maybe it was nothing. We’re almost there. See! There’s the fence around the campground.

KAREN
What’s that there?

KEVIN
What?

KAREN
Is someone climbing the fence?

In the dark, past the trees, a man can be seen scaling the 9-foot fence, toward the top.

KEVIN
Holy shit!!! Here we go! It’s ON!

KAREN
This is REAL???

Kevin and Karen run clumsily through the trees toward the fence-climber, who turns out to be CHARLES PERKINS, a 60-something-year-old bald, soft-spoken, former member of the Heavens Gate cult (casting: an older, thinner version of Lord Varys from Game of Thrones).

KEVIN
Stop! Get down from that fence, or I’ll shoot!

CHARLES
No! We won’t let you get away with this!

Kevin fires a warning shot, which hits the fence a few feet away from the climber, but which scares him and sends him crashing from the ground.

CHARLES
OWWW!!

KAREN
Serves you right, you disgusting pedophile!

Suddenly, flashlights shine from the trees all around them, and they can see that they are surrounded by people pointing guns at them, emerging from the trees.

HILLBILLY 1 (O.S.)
Drop your weapons!

KAREN
You disgusting animals won’t get away with this!!!

The man in the trees fires a warning shot, which ricochets off the tree next to Karen and Kevin. HILLBILLY 1 emerges into view from the trees. He is in his 50s with long graying hair in a ponytail and a graying moustache, wearing an American flag shirt.

HILLBILLY 1
That was your warning, scumbags. Drop your weapons! I won’t be so nice if I have to ask a second time!

Karen tosses her crowbar to the ground and Kevin drops his gun. They hug each other.

KAREN
Where we go one, we go all!

KEVIN
Where we go one, we go all!

CHARLES
(still lying on the ground holding his ankle)
Wait, what did they say?

KAREN
Where we go one, we go all! I don’t care if I say it! We might not be able to stop you disgusting people working for the pedophile Soros cabal, but someone from the Q Army will!

CHARLES
But WE’RE the Q army!

KEVIN
What?

Charles gets up and limps over toward them, as do the other people from the woods who continue to point their guns at Karen and Kevin. As they emerge into the clearing, it is obvious that they are rednecks, many wearing MAGA hats and Trump shirts themselves.

CHARLES
Why are you here?

KEVIN
We’re on a mission from Q to save children from Hillary Clinton and her band of perverts.

CHARLES
So are we!!!

Charles walks up to Karen and notices her earrings and WWG1WGA charm necklace.

KAREN
You are?

CHARLES
YES! I’m a member of a Facebook group that monitors Q’s clues—Q Patriot Militia. One of the commenters had decoded the latest Q drop to mean that the children in this camp were in danger. So I gathered up my concerned neighbors to help me defend it! I was trying to get on the inside to see if it had already been infiltrated!

KAREN
That was ME! I posted that comment!

CHARLES
You’re...Karen Kilkenny?

KAREN
YES!

CHARLES
Of course! I’ve seen many of your comments. My name is Charles. Charles Perkins. But my Facebook name is Comet Chaser Charles.

KAREN
Oh! I recognize your name! You’ve commented on my posts before!

CHARLES
Yes, we’ve had some enlightening conversations online!

HILLBILLY 1
So what’s the deal here, Charles. Are these folks okay?

CHARLES
Yes, these are good people who are trying to do the same good work we are.

HILLBILLY 3, a woman in her 30s/40s in a MAGA hat with bleached blonde hair and a tight Confederate flag t-shirt that hugs her spare tires, runs back to their group from around the corner of the fence (presumably from the front of the camp). She is also holding a gun.

HILLBILLY 3
There’s nobody in this camp! The sign out front says the camp’s closed due to that coronavirus. Place is empty.

HILLBILLY 2
So that means we don’t get to shoot perverts? Damn.

CHARLES
But at least the children are safe. That’s the most important thing.

HILLBILLY 1
So you didn’t really figure out that clue from the internet, huh? I told you that didn’t make much sense.

KAREN
But it DOES make sense! It just means that President Trump figured out the clue too! I’ll bet he found out Killary’s plot and sent the CDC to close the camp.

HILLBILLY 3
I can see that. There’s no such thing as coronavirus anyways. It’s all just a big hoax.

KEVIN
Exactly!

HILLBILLY 1
Now what do we do?

CHARLES
I guess we just call it a night and live to fight another day. Thank you for your service, my friends!

HILLBILLY 2
What about you, Charles? Can you make it home okay? It’s a long walk down that ridge to your cottage in the dark.

Charles limps a few steps.

CHARLES
I may have sprained my ankle during my fall.

KAREN
Why don’t you come over to our RV? We’re only about a ten-minute walk. We can help you. Right, Kev?

KEVIN
Sure. I guess it’s the least we can do since we shot at him.

CHARLES
That would be wonderful! I feel like I already know you from the Facebook Group, and I’d love to brainstorm more with you about how to save the children!

Karen and Kevin put their arms around Charles and hobble back through the woods as the hillbillies start to disappear back behind the trees, talking among themselves as they depart.

HILLBILLY 2
Man, I really wanted to shoot someone.

HILLBILLY 1
I’m just glad they took Charles with them…he’s kinda peculiar.

HILLBILLY 3
Yeah, I’d do anything to help Trump, but this whole pedophile plot didn’t make sense to me from the get-go.

INT. WITCH HILLARY’S LAIR – NIGHT

Witch Hillary is angrily pacing around the floor. Major Quentin Quimby is sitting in a chair in the corner, reading “Profiles in Courage” as he hums the tune to “Camelot.”

WITCH HILLARY
PODESTA!!!!!!!

Zombie Podesta scurries into the room, and Ghoulish George Soros shuffles in behind him.

WITCH HILLARY (CONT’D)
It was Q!!! Q foiled us again!!! How could he have known our plan?? Who could he be?

QUIMBY
A baffling mystery, to be sure…

GHOULISH GEORGE SOROS
But that clue was so vague! I didn’t think anyone could’ve guessed it!

WITCH HILLARY
It was that meddling Karen Kilkenny again! She has keen intuition, and a finely honed ability to decipher cryptic messaging. I will have my revenge on her one day…but that will have to wait. Right now the more pressing problem our dwindling supply of delicious young pizza.

CHILDREN
Save the children!

GHOULISH GEORGE SOROS
What should be done next, Madam Secretary Clinton?

WITCH HILLARY
I’m tired of playing nice with President Dudley Do-Right! We’re never going to get all the pizza children we need until he’s out of the way!

ZOMBIE PODESTA
But what can we do? We’ve tried everything…the Russia hoax, all of that fake news about his crimes and corruption and tax evasion…his insulting POWs…we’ve even called upon members of the Deep State to have him impeached for a perfect phone call! But nothing can drain his strength…nothing can turn his loyal admirers against him!

GHOULISH GEORGE SOROS
If you say the word, I can activate my elite squad of long-range sharp-shooters and find the perfect moment to execute a deadly coup…

QUIMBY
(standing up from his chair)
NO!

WITCH HILLARY
NO! As I’ve told you before, George Soros, we can’t turn him into a sainted martyr—all his loyal patriots would join against us in unstoppable rage and agony! No…we need to destroy his image…make his supporters feel betrayed by him so they will no longer rally behind him against us.

ZOMBIE PODESTA
But we’ve tried that, my queen…nothing seems to get in the way of his fans’ adoration of him.

WITCH HILLARY
You’re right of course. But there is ONE thing I can think of…one deliciously, exquisitely evil thing that will bring me great pleasure!
(cackles maniacally)
Gather our pedophile warriors to head to Florida—we’re going to vanquish our foe while he’s near his beloved Mar a Lago!

Major Quentin Quimby turns to the camera, looking shocked and dismayed.

INT: LESTER’S RV - NIGHT

Karen and Kevin enter the RV with Charles. Michelle is sitting up on the kitchen sink, and Les is standing in front of her, applying lipstick to her lips. Her face is already heavily made up like a prostitute. When Les takes his hand away from her lips, Michelle resumes licking a vaguely suggestive lollipop.

LES
Oh, back so soon?

MICHELLE
Don’t worry, Grandmom! We didn’t take your make-up! Mr. Mo already had some in the closet!

KAREN
Oh…um…okay

KEVIN
Uh, well…let’s grab some beers and sit outside. That was stressful!

EXT. LESTER’S RV - NIGHT

Kevin, Lester, and Charles are sitting on lawn chairs outside the RV in front of a campfire. Michelle is toasting marshmallows (her prostitute makeup has been removed). Karen is crouched down in front of Charles examining his ankle.

CHARLES
It’s just a little sore right now. After some rest, I’m sure it’ll feel better in the morning.

Karen stands up and walks back over to her lawn chair.

KAREN
It’s okay if Charles sleeps on the sofa tonight, isn’t it, Les? I feel so bad that we shot at him when he was just following my Facebook clues!

LES
Oh…it’s a bit cramped…but it should be fine…just for the night.

CHARLES
That’s wonderful! Thank you! QAnon has added so much meaning to my life these past few months. I haven’t felt camaraderie like the QAnon community since many years ago, back at the compound.

KEVIN
It’s a great way to communicate with other real Americans who care about this country.

KAREN
I’m just happy to be doing my patriotic duty for President Trump! And look! Did you see? While we were out trying to defend the camp, Q dropped another breadcrumb!

KEVIN
I just saw that! What do you think it means?

KAREN
Killary and her disgusting band of predators must be furious that President Trump stopped them from snatching more children for their sick, twisted perversions!

KEVIN
So what do you think Q’s saying their next move is?

CHARLES
Are they going to try to abduct more children?

KAREN
(pauses to think for a moment)
It seems to me like this is going to be more of a direct attack on Trump. Soon. I think they’re going to try to hurt him somehow at Mar a Lago!

KEVIN
Those twisted bastards! They never leave the poor guy alone!

KAREN
Les, do you think we could go there? To Mar a Lago? I’ve always wanted to see it.

LES
Well…it’s been a long time since I’ve been to Palm Beach. It might be nice to go and look up some old friends. And there are some…services there I haven’t been able to enjoy for a long time.

KEVIN
That would be terrific! It would be great to see the Southern White House!

KAREN
I’m so excited! This is such a great adventure!

KEVIN
(scrolling on his phone)
It’s still kind of far. But if we need a place to stop along the way, it looks like there’s a Trump BBQ and boat parade at a lake near Gainesville. Our buddy Travis has been talking that one up on his show.

CHARLES
I wish I could go with you. If there’s anything I can do to stop even one child from being molested and abused, that would make me complete. The impacts of that on a child…some people never get over it, and spend their whole lives trying to fill the void…even the ones who seem to be okay still carry that scar inside…

KEVIN
I just can’t wait until we can lock all those perverts up in Guantanamo!

KAREN
The storm is coming!

KEVIN
Bring on the storm!

Kevin and Karen toast to this, clinking their Coors lite cans together, as Michelle looks up at the clear, star-filled sky. A shooting star goes by, and Charles stands up and waves at it.

CHARLES
(looking at the sky)
Hi friends!

Charles sits back down and turns to Karen, Kevin and Les.

CHARLES (CONT’D)
I was supposed to have moved to the Next Level with my friends a long, long time ago, but my family interfered and kept me here. Oh, I’m not CRAZY! I know that’s not Hale-Bopp that just went by—that comet won’t come around for another 4,300 years. But I like to think that my friends are up there with the higher beings, enjoying enlightenment. It makes me sad that I’m not there too, but I’m happy to think of them. And I’m happy now that QAnon has given me a new purpose here on earth—to save the children!

KEVIN
Um…yeah….okay…

KAREN
QAnon has really become a huge part of our lives too. We learn so much from being part of the Q Patriot Militia Facebook group.

CHARLES
I only found out about QAnon a few months ago. I was drawn to the purpose of helping children who are being abused. I was happy when I saw your post, Karen—that was one of the few I’ve seen on the group page that offered a real plan to help children.

Charles begins to cry, quickly becoming more and more hysterical. Karen, Kevin and Les look at each other confusedly and shrug.

KEVIN
Ah….what’s the matter, man?

CHARLES
(crying)
I’m sorry—I, I…I just really thought I’d do some good for children tonight. I know it’s a good thing that—if you’re right—President Trump relocated the children in the camp in time to save them. But I can’t help but to think of the others who are already trapped living the most horrid existence!

Les rolls his eyes. Michelle gets up and walks over to Charles and pats him on the back.

MICHELLE
It’s okay, Mr. Perkins. You’ll do good and help kids soon.

INT. LESTER’S RV – DAY

CHYRON: Wednesday, August 19, 2020

It’s early in the morning, and the adults are all presumably still sleeping in their various bunks out of sight. Charles is asleep and snoring on the pull-out couch. Michelle grabs her grandmom’s phone and steps outside the RV.

INT. MOTEL ROOM IN VIRGINIA - DAY

Eli and Kaylee are asleep, spooning, dressed in t-shirts/bedclothes. Kaylee hears/sees a facetime call coming in from “Mom” and answers it to see Michelle’s face on the screen of her phone.

SPLIT SCREEN – INT. MOTEL ROOM/EXT. LESTER’s RV - DAY

KAYLEE
Michelle, honey!!! Sweetheart! It’s so good to see you! Where are you?

MICHELLE
Hi Mommy. Everyone is sleeping in the truck.

Eli jumps up to talk to Michelle on the screen of Kaylee’s phone.

ELI
Hi Chelly! How are you? I miss you!

MICHELLE
Daddy!!!! You’re with Mommy???

ELI
Your Mommy and I are looking for you together. Do you know where you are?

MICHELLE
We’re somewhere in George saving the children. Can you come here too? We’re supposed to go swimming in the lake!

KAYLEE
Where, honey? And…what happened to your hair??? Oh, never mind…

ELI
Where did you say you are now?

MICHELLE
We’re in George. Granddad told me I could go swimming in Lake Burt today, but then they said we’d go on a boat instead.
(pauses)
Can I say something I’m not supposed to?

KAYLEE
Sure, honey. What?

MICHELLE
Even if it’s mean?

KAYLEE
We’re your mom and dad…you can tell us anything.

Michelle
(leans into the phone screen and whispers)
Grandmom and granddad are CRAZY!

Eli laughs.

MICHELLE (CONT’D)
They keep saying they’re going to SAVE THE CHILDREN! SAVE THE CHILDREN! But I don’t think they know who these kids are. They said they were going to bring the kids home last night, but instead they came home with a grownup. He’s so old he doesn’t have any hair on his head! And they think somebody is telling them SECRETS on the INTERNET! Everybody knows you can’t keep a secret on the internet!

KAYLEE
(smiling)
You’re okay though, aren’t you, Michelle? Are they treating you okay?

MICHELLE
It’s good. Everyone is sleeping. We toasted marshmallows on the fire last night. The bald man said hi to his friends on stars before he started to cry about the children.

KAYLEE
Uh….which lake are you supposed to go to, sweetie?

MICHELLE
Lake Burt. I hope we go swimming later, even though they didn’t bring home any kids.

ELI
(looking down at his own phone, where he has been googling)
Are you in Georgia? Lake Burton? Is that right?

MICHELLE
Yeah.
(pauses)
Uh oh.

KAYLEE
What, honey?

MICHELLE
There’s a red light on the phone. I think it needs to be plugged in.

ELI
Okay, take the phone inside and plug it in…if we get cut off, I want you to know that your mommy and daddy love you and we want to see you soon…

The split screen ends. Michelle’s face disappears from Kaylee’s phone.

EXT. LESTER’S RV - DAY

Les walks out of the RV.

LES
Who were you talking to?

MICHELLE
Mommy and Daddy. I told them we’re in Lake Burt. They’re coming to see us!

LES
What? How far away are they?

Michelle shrugs.

LES (CONT’D)
Okay, okay…but next time you can’t say anything to your mommy and daddy, understand? Can you keep a secret? Good girls keep secrets.
(to himself)
We need to get on the road…they might bring the police with them…I can’t be caught here with a little girl. Plus, I haven’t had a chance to go far enough with the girl’s grooming.
(to Michelle)
Get back in the RV, Michelle. We’re going to hit the road.

MICHELLE
I thought we were going to go swimming! And what about Mommy and Daddy?

LES
Trust me, little girl. Everything will be just fine.

INT: MOTEL FRONT DESK - DAY

Kaylee and Eli are at the front desk. They ring the bell for the owner, but have a few moments before she arrives.

ELI
So…should we talk about last night?
KAYLEE
That’s okay…I know it doesn’t change anything.
ELI
It was fun though, right?

Kaylee smiles. The motel owner, PEGGY, a well put-together, classy white woman in her 60s, then walks over to greet them, putting on a clear visor to cover her face as she comes closer to them. Eli and Kaylee pull up their masks.

ELI
Sorry we have to check out so early, ma’am. I hope we didn’t wake you.

PEGGY
No problem at all—I’m an early riser. And I told you when you checked in that you can call me Peggy.

ELI
Well, thanks again, Peggy.

KAYLEE
Your motel is lovely.

PEGGY
Well, it’s a very lovely part of the country. Why are you leaving so quickly? I thought you weren’t planning to check out until at least mid-morning.

KAYLEE
It’s a long story. Our daughter just face-timed us from Georgia. She’s with my parents, but…

ELI
But they’re insane…they’re all wrapped up into the QAnon cult and think they’re on some kind of mission.

PEGGY
A cult? What cult is this?

KAYLEE
Oh…it’s…it’s kind of a Trump thing, actually.

PEGGY
Well, I’m not very political. Of course I think the president is a loudmouth buffoon, but living around here, a lot of my friends and acquaintances seem to like him. But what’s this about a cult? I’ve studied some cults a little over the years, but it’s been a while.

ELI
It makes no sense.

PEGGY
Well, that’s common with most of these groups—the less realistic it is, the more tightly it binds them together. But go on.

KAYLEE
Where to start?

ELI
This cult believes that Hillary Clinton, George Soros and a bunch of celebrities are devil worshippers running a huge sex trafficking ring and even EATING children. They think President Trump is their hero who is going to save them. And they think there’s is a top-secret government operative who gives them clues about all this over the internet.

PEGGY
This cult has to do with fighting the sexual abuse of children?

KAYLEE
Theoretically. I think most of them just want to smear the people they hate with the most horrible crime imaginable.

PEGGY
I see. It sounds very interesting.

ELI
Well, you can find plenty of QAnon groups on Facebook.

KAYLEE
The one my parents are active in is “Q Patriot Militia.” Eli and I are trying to find a way to get into that group so we can figure out what they’re up to, but it’s a private group, so we haven’t had any luck yet.

PEGGY
Thanks for the information. I’ll look into that group. You two have a nice drive down to Georgia. I hope you find your daughter and everything works out for the best.

ELI AND KAYLEE
(in unison)
Thank you.

INT. LESTER’S RV - DAY

Michelle is seated at the RV’s kitchen dining booth with her stuffed horse, and coloring in a coloring book. Charles wakes up and gets up off the sofa bed.

CHARLES
(to Michelle)
Shhh…we don’t want to wake anyone up. I think my foot feels better. Since everyone here was so nice to me, I want to go back to my cottage and make some pancakes to bring back for everyone. Would you like that?

Michelle nods. Charles then exits the RV.

EXT. LESTER’s RV – DAY

Charles steps out of the RV to see that he is no longer in the wooded campground area, but is instead in a giant strip mall parking lot.

CHARLES
Oh…I don’t think I’m in Lake Burton anymore!

EXT. PARKING LOT IN A LAKE/RECREATION AREA IN NORTH FLORIDA - DAY

Kevin, Karen, Michelle, Les and Charles exit the RV, which appears to have been parked across five parking spaces in a lot. Karen and Kevin are wearing MAGA hats. Karen is wearing a “Lock her Up” T-shirt, and Kevin’s shirt says “Fuck your feelings.” There is a black family barbecuing in a picnic area adjacent to the parking lot. The father, BBQ MAN, is a big guy in his 40s, tall and built like a linebacker, and wearing a Flo Rida T-shirt. He is there with his WIFE and TWO TEENAGE SONS. He is working the grill with a spatula in one hand, and a big knife in the other.

CHARLES
I wasn’t expecting to be in Florida, but I really am looking forward to being around my new friends who want to help children!

KAREN
Yeah, it’s great to be around patriots who want to teach those pedophiles a lesson! And I’m so excited we get to go to this Trump boat parade!

BBQ MAN
Hey, you can’t park there. You’re taking up five spots. And two are handicapped!

KEVIN
Mind your business, bro.

BBQ Man
It IS my business. When my uncle gets here, he’s not going to have anywhere to park, and he just got out of surgery. There’s an RV park about a mile up the road. I can tell you how to get there.

KEVIN
No thanks, we’re good.

BBQ man puts his knife and spatula down on the picnic table and takes a couple of steps toward them.

BBQ MAN
This lot isn’t for monster trucks, man. I’m telling you, there’s a perfectly good place for you to park right down the road.

KAREN
Who do you think you are? You have no right to tell us what to do!

BBQ MAN
You have no right to take up five spots in a public lot!

BBQ MAN’S WIFE
Don’t bother with those fools. They’re not worth it.

BBQ MAN
The entitlement of this trailer trash is unbelievable!

KEVIN
(continuing to walk away with his group)
You’re out of line, asshole.

BBQ MAN
(stepping forward)
What line? What are you talking about? Move your goddamned truck!

BBQ MAN’S WIFE
Leave it alone, baby. They’re not worth it.

BBQ MAN
That’s real nice. Typical ignorant Trumpers.

Kevin and Karen and the rest keep walking away from the BBQ family.

LES
Do you think they’ll do anything to my RV? They look like vandals.

KEVIN
I can stay back and guard the RV. I have my gun inside. I’d be happy to stand my ground!

KAREN
Kevin, no, you can’t miss out on the boat parade! We already booked our boat, and you’re the only one who knows how to drive one! Besides, you really need something to cheer you up after all the bad news you’ve had today.

CHARLES
I’m sorry that your company is being sued and that your insurance company won’t pay for the damage to your truck.

KAREN
I can’t believe the insurance company sided with Antifa instead of true patriots when that video of us at Bedminster went viral! That’s so unfair!

KEVIN
Taking out my gun to scare that thug straight would make me cheer up! He thinks he can get away with talking to us like that? Who the hell does he think he is?

KAREN
Wait—I have a better idea.

Karen takes out her phone and makes a call.

KAREN (INT. DEVICE)
Hello? 911? My family and I were just ATTACKED by a black man in the north parking lot at the lake. He’s a big guy—about 6’3—built like a Mac Truck! He was wearing a gangsta rap t-shirt! And he had a huge KNIFE and was THREATENING us! No…no…we’re all okay. We just had to get the hell out of there! Please send the police before he attacks anyone else!!! He’s ENRAGED! Like an ANIMAL! Thank you!

Karen hangs up, tucks her phone back into her purse and turns to Kevin and nods her head/smiles/laughs proudly—a silent “hee-hee-hee.”

KAREN
(to Les)
I don’t think those looters will be messing with your RV anytime soon!

KEVIN
That’s my girl!

Kevin wraps his arm around Karen’s waist and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

LES
Thank you, Karen. Good thinking. Now we can all enjoy our day.

They pass more and more people wearing red MAGA hats and waving Trump flags.

CHARLES
We seem to be heading in the right direction—I see more and more of our people!

KAREN
Oh look—there’s a food stand to support the “We Build the Wall” foundation! So you don’t have to be hangry anymore, Kevin!

KEVIN
Nice! Yeah, Donald Trump Junior endorsed that charity. If one of Trump’s kids endorses a charity, it must be a great cause!

INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY
Kaylee and Eli are in a motel room near Lake Burton, sitting up in bed with their laptops open. Nelson is lying between them.

KAYLEE
God I hope this works. I was really hoping we could’ve gotten down to Lake Burton in time. My heart broke when we couldn’t find them at the RV site.

ELI
Mine too. Right now I think the only way we’re going to know what they’re up to is if we can get into this nutjob Q Patriot Militia group.

KAYLEE
How’s your fake profile coming along?

ELI
Oh, I’m coming up with a middle-aged white guy your mom and her friends will love. Tommy Duffy—retired firefighter…outdoor enthusiast….divorced…graduated from your mom’s high school…Blue Lives Matter flag background photo.

KAYLEE
Let me see.
(Looks over at Eli’s laptop)
You’re kidding, right?

ELI
What?

KAYLEE
Your profile pic is LITERALLY catfishing!

ELI
Exactly! It’s so obvious, they’ll think it CAN’T be fake!

KAYLEE
You just might be right.

ELI
Oh, I know I am! How are my “friends’” profiles coming along? Building me up a good friends list to make me look more legit?

KAYLEE
Working on it…

EXT. PICNIC/RECREATION AREA IN NORTH FLORIDA - DAY

Karen, Kevin and Charles are sitting at a picnic table eating hot dogs. They are surrounded by people in MAGA hats and Trump shirts, and many Trump flags. Michelle has a lot of energy from being pent up in the RV for so long and is running around the table, waving around her stuffed animal horse, yelling.

MICHELLE
Who’s going to SAVE THE CHILDREN!???

KAREN
(scrolling through phone)
Oh my god!

KEVIN
What?

KAREN
It’s Rocko! He’s in the hospital. His daughter just posted that he’s in bad shape.

KEVIN
No, shit, really? What’s wrong with him? Heart attack?

Michelle is still running back and forth around the table.

MICHELLE
Who needs to be saved?
(points to nearby kid)
Does THAT kid need to be saved???
(looks at her stuffed horse)
Shelby, are you going to help me SAVE THE CHILDREN?

KAREN
(to Kevin)
I don’t know…his daughter’s trying to say it’s Covid, but I can’t believe that!

KEVIN
It must just be the flu. Hopefully he’ll be out soon.

MICHELLE
Shelby, help me save that child!!! Save him from the PERVERTS!

KAREN
We’re at a Trump rally, Michelle—children are safe here, don’t worry.

The camera pans to Les, leaning against a tree nearby and chatting up two 13-year-old girls.

LES
(to the girls)
Have you ever thought about modeling?

The camera pans back to Karen, Kevin and Charles at the picnic table.

KAREN
(to Kevin)
Rocko’s daughter is talking about him like he’s dying.

KEVIN
What the hell?

CHARLES
Oh no—I hope your friend pulls through.

MICHELLE
(still running, pointing at random people)
Are you a PERVERT??? SAVE THE CHILDREN!

The camera pans over to the parking lot, where a young girl—Lucia Morales—looks out the window of a van, and shows a spark of recognition when she sees the Kilkennys. She runs out of the car, and her sister Selena follows her.

LUCIA
Mr. Kilkenny!!!

An Asian woman in her 40s, MINDY LING, gets out of the driver’s seat and grabs Selena and yanks her back to the car. A white man—the Asian woman’s HENCHMAN—gets out of the passenger side, chases Lucia and grabs her when she’s still a good distance from the Kilkennys’ picnic table. Karen and Kevin are looking at their phones (checking on Rocko’s situation) and don’t notice. Charles sees this happening.

CHARLES
(standing up)
Kevin, I think that young girl knows you!

KEVIN
Huh?

CHARLES
That girl seems to be in trouble!

Charles gets up and runs toward them.

CHARLES
Excuse me!

HENCHMAN
Nothing to see here, baldy. My daughter is being a brat, that’s all. Mind your business.

The henchman shoves Lucia back into the van.

MINDY LING
(inside the car, to Lucia)
You’ll pay for that! I told you we just had that ONE important stop!

The van quickly pulls away out of the lot. Charles doesn’t get to see the license plate, but he gets a pretty good look at Mindy Ling in the driver’s seat. From the back seat, Lucia looks directly at Charles and mouths “help me.”

EXT. PARKING LOT IN A LAKE/RECREATION AREA IN NORTH FLORIDA - DAY

Back at the parking lot/BBQ area where the RV is parked. Four police cars screech up, and eight (white) COPS run toward the black BBQ guy in the Flo Rida shirt, pointing their guns at him.

COP 1
Put your hands up!!!

BBQ MAN
Excuse me?

COP 2
He’s going for the knife!

BBQ Man puts his hands up on his head.

BBQ MAN
No I’m not. I’m just having a barbecue with my…

Cop 1 uses a taser on BBQ Man, sending him to the ground as his wife and sons scream and shout. One of the cops puts handcuffs on him, while another one kicks him in the back.

BBQ MAN’S WIFE
Why are you doing this??? Why???? We didn’t do anything wrong!!

COP 3
We told him to keep his hands on his head!

BBQ MAN’S WIFE
He HAD his hands on his head!!!

COP 1
He was going for his knife!

BBQ MAN’S WIFE
It’s a knife for the steak!!! He wasn’t going for it! Don’t hurt him!!! Leave him alone!

The other cops grab BBQ man’s wife and teenage sons and put them in handcuffs.

COP 2
(to COP 1)
That’s what this thug gets for resisting arrest. He’s lucky we only used the taser on him.

INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

Kaylee and Eli are still on their bed on their laptops, with Nelson between them.

ELI
Okay, Tommy Duffy has now joined a few of the public Q Facebook groups and is starting to interact with these freaks. What the fuck, though? The comments are just, literally Nazi shit. How the fuck do these people function in society with their brains wired like this???

KAYLEE
My parents somehow do. Barely.

ELI
They think Forrest Gump eats kids?

Kaylee shakes her head and shrugs.

ELI (CONT’D)
I’m killing brain cells just scrolling through this. But at least a few of these morons have already accepted my friend requests. These racist freaks must need as many friends as they can get!

KAYLEE
Okay, Tommy Duffy’s “real” friends are coming.

ELI
Hit me!

KAYLEE
Here you go.

ELI
Mark Duffy?

KAYLEE
Your older brother.

ELI
Ah, a Trump fan AND a NASCAR fan, I see. Cool, cool….and who is Casey Duffy?

KAYLEE
Your 35-year-old son.

ELI
Aha…I see he likes Trump and the Flyers. Nice.

KAYLEE
Yep.

ELI
Cassidy Duffy? My daughter, I presume?

KAYLEE
Correct.

ELI
Wow. She’s really into Nickelback.

KAYLEE
All Nickelback, all the time.

ELI
Perfect. Oh wait…now who is this hot Russian model…Natalia Romanov?

KAYLEE
Tommy Duffy looks like the kind of guy who would be catfished pretty easily himself.

ELI
Good point.

KAYLEE
So how many friends do you have now, total?

ELI
Twelve. Do you think that makes me look legit enough to try to catfish some of your parents’ friends?

KAYLEE
I think it’s worth a shot.

EXT. TRUMP BOAT PARADE - DAY

The Kilkenny party is out on the water in a small boat that is decorated with Trump flags. They are surrounded by other boats, similarly decked out in Trump merchandise.

KEVIN
Man, it feels great to be out on the water!

KAREN
This is a great way to support President Trump!

KEVIN
To President Trump!

Kevin, Karen and Les cheers each other (Kevin and Karen with cans of Coors Lite, Les with some kind of whiskey drink in a clear glass). Charles isn’t holding a drink.

CHARLES
This IS very nice…but I’m not sure how this helps us save the children. Isn’t this a distraction?

KEVIN
Don’t worry about it, Charles. We’re showing our support for President Trump, so we’re doing our country a great service!

KAREN
Besides, President Trump wants us to cut loose and have fun sometimes!

Kevin takes another big swig of beer. They all wave and smile and hoot and holler at other boaters.

KEVIN
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!

KAREN
KEEP AMERICA GREAT!!! WA-HOOOOO!!!

A few larger boats start to go by, causing a big wake. Michelle lifts up one of the seats of the boat and grabs herself a life vest and puts it on.

INTERCUT TO:

EXT. LARGE YACHT ON THE LAKE - DAY

Travis Howell is driving the large, expensive boat that buzzes closely by the Kilkennys. A young attractive blonde in a bikini has her arms draped around Travis as they both drink champagne and laugh. Travis throttles up the power on the boat.

TRAVIS
A-WOOOOOO!!!!

INTERCUT TO:

EXT. TRUMP BOAT PARADE - DAY

The Kilkenny party’s boat rocks back and forth sharply and starts taking on water as Travis’s yacht—the Red Pill—speeds past. Lester loses his balance and knocks into Charles, sending him careening into the water. The boat starts taking on more water. Michelle floats out of the boat, drifting in her life vest and starting to swim around. Kevin and Karen and Lester struggle in the water too as the boat continues to sink. Karen is holding onto a beer cooler, using it as a float.

EXT. LAKESIDE NEXT TO THE TRUMP BOAT PARADE - DAY

Handsome Trump’s motorcade is stopped outside the boat rally where the Kilkennys’ boat is in mayday mode. Handsome Trump gets out of his limousine, and Bob Mueller gets out on the other side and walks over to him. Two Secret Service agents likewise exit the car and stand near Handsome Trump and Bob Mueller.

HANDSOME TRUMP
I must jump into the water and help my loyal patriots! Everyone knows what an athlete I am! Michael Phelps WISHES he could swim as fast as Donald Trump!

BOB MUELLER
Mr. President, we should get to Mar a Lago…our security detail here isn’t that strong.

HANDSOME TRUMP
Nonsense! My loyal supporters are in distress! I can’t let anyone drown who wants to Make America Great Again!

BOB MUELLER
But sir…

HANDSOME TRUMP
Shush now, Bob! I have some patriots to save!!!

Suddenly, Witch Hillary’s witches/ghouls emerge from the surrounding woods.

BOB MUELLER
Mr. President, look out!

Witch Hillary’s ghouls knock out the Secret Service and then knock out Bob Mueller. They fight with Trump, who fights valiantly, but they’re eventually able to grab him and drag him out of sight into the woods.

INT. WITCH HILLARY’S LAIR - DAY

Handsome Trump is chained to a four-poster bed. Witch Hillary is pacing around the bed, gleefully rubbing her hands together. The wailing children are still chained to the walls. Warlock Bill, Zombie Podesta, Ghoulish George Soros and other assorted ghouls and ghoulish celebrities are lurking in the corners of the room.

WITCH HILLARY
You’re finally mine, Donald. Now at long last I can enact my plan to turn your devoted patriots against you.

HANDSOME TRUMP
That will never happen!

WITCH HILLARY
Never? I don’t think so. It’s difficult, yes, but not impossible. I know that stories about you insulting veterans hasn’t turned them against you.

HANDSOME TRUMP
Fake news!

WITCH HILLARY
And they think your financial crimes just demonstrate your superior intellect.

HANDSOME TRUMP
More Fake news!

WITCH HILLARY
And they even stand by you as hundreds of thousands of Americans die of Covid-19.

HANDSOME TRUMP
Democrat Hoax! Hydroxychloroquine!

WITCH HILLARY
But there is ONE thing that could turn them against you…

Hillary climbs into bed with Donald, draws the covers up over them both, and then tosses her pantsuit to the floor.

HANDSOME TRUMP
But I would NEVER!

WITCH HILLARY
But you WILL!

HANDSOME TRUMP
NO!

WITCH HILLARY
YES!!! You see, you have a choice, Donald. I will release the children chained to these walls if you agree to do what I say. If not, myself and my cohorts will, how shall we say? Eat their PIZZA!!!! Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

CHILDREN
Won’t anyone SAVE THE CHILDREN????

Warlock Bill, Zombie Podesta, Ghoulish George Soros, and the other ghouls start licking pizza lasciviously in front of the children’s faces. Witch Hillary makes some movements under the covers and tosses Trump’s pants out onto the floor.

HANDSOME TRUMP
You’re pure evil, Hillary!

WITCH HILLARY
Be that as it may, dear Donald…you have to make your choice…either you do what I say, or these children…these delicious, delicious, sexy pizza children…will pay the price…

HANDSOME TRUMP
The horror! You KNOW I’m so full of empathy that I would never put my own interests ahead of anyone else’s! You win, Hillary….for now! I’ll do what you say to protect those innocent children.

CHILDREN
Save the Children!

HANDSOME TRUMP
I just said I would, didn’t I???

Witch Hillary starts making grinding movements on top of Handsome Trump.

WITCH HILLARY
Now read the teleprompter, Donald!

HANDSOME TRUMP
No, I don’t read teleprompters!
(turns to Warlock Bill)
Bill, your wife is trying to have sex with me. Are you going to stop this?

WARLOCK BILL
(licking a slice of pizza)
Nah, I’m cool.

WITCH HILLARY
Read the teleprompter, Donald!

HANDSOME TRUMP
NO, I can’t say it!

WITCH HILLARY
Oh, I thought you cared about the children???

Ghoulish George Soros suggestively rubs a pizza box all over himself as the handcuffed children cry.

HANDSOME TRUMP
Ugh…fine
(reading)
It’s always been you, Hillary. I’ve always loved you! My heart is yours.

WITCH HILLARY
YES! YES!

HANDSOME TRUMP
(to himself)
I don’t want to have sex with Hillary! Let me try to make myself NOT aroused…Since the LEAST sexy thing, theoretically, would be to have sex with one’s child, let me try to think of Ivanka to curb my libido…

WITCH HILLARY
(looking down under the covers)
Well, well, well…that’s not the little mushroom now, is it????

HANDSOME TRUMP
Fake News!!!

WITCH HILLARY
Say those sweet words to me, Donald, or the children will suffer!

HANDSOME TRUMP
Ugh.
(reading)
My rallies are filled with deplorable losers!

WITCH HILLARY
YES! YES!

HANDSOME TRUMP
Damn my unstoppable virility!!!

WITCH HILLARY
(coming to her climax)
BENGHAZI!!!!

HANDSOME TRUMP
NOOOO!!!!

Witch Hillary rolls to her side and takes out a long, Cruella deVille-type cigarette, which she lights and begins to smoke.

HANDSOME TRUMP
You got what you wanted, Hillary. Now let the children go!

WITCH HILLARY
Fine, fine. Podesta, release the children into the wild. We will have no problem gathering many more children soon!!!

ZOMBIE PODESTA
Yes my queen.

Witch Hillary throws on a robe and gets out of bed.

WITCH HILLARY
And now we’ll release you too, Donald. Now that I have this on film, I know I can destroy you! Podesta, email the video to me…I’ll keep it on my private email server! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!! I will release this on a grand scale during the Republican National Convention. Just when you should be basking in the adulation of the country, I will humiliate you!!!
(turning to the camera, extending her arms and doing her best Guilfoyle impression)
THE BEST!! IS YET!!! TO COME!!!!

Major General Quentin Quimby walks into the room, casually eating an apple.

QUIMBY
(to Ghoulish George Soros)
I’m back from my flight. It’s great to be up in the skies again! So, what did I miss?

INT. MOTEL ROOM NEAR LAKE BURTON - DAY
Kaylee and Eli are still on their bed on their laptops, with Nelson between them.

ELI
Guess who’s the newest member of the Q Patriot Militia Facebook group?

KAYLEE
Really?

ELI
Your mom’s friend Patti approved Tommy Duffy’s request.

Eli and Kaylee high-five.

KAYLEE
We really are good together, aren’t we?

ELI
Yeah. We always were.

KAYLEE
I’m sorry I never realized how hurtful my parents were to you.

ELI
You love them. You’re supposed to love them.

KAYLEE
But I was married to you.

ELI
(still scrolling through comments)
There she is! Your mom!

KAYLEE
Really? Where are they?

ELI
She doesn’t say where. Just, “All hands on deck to save President Trump! He needs his Q Army more than ever to stop Killary’s cabal!” All caps.

KAYLEE
Of course.

ELI
In her defense, no one in this group seems to know how to turn off their caps lock.

KAYLEE
What do you think that could mean in terms of where they are?

ELI
Well where is Trump now?

KAYLEE
Hold on.
(googles on her laptop.)
Looks like Trump should be back in D.C. to start preparing for the Republican National Convention this week.

ELI
You think they could’ve taken Michelle to D.C.?

KAYLEE
I guess it makes sense.

ELI
Which means it’s probably not what they’re doing.

KAYLEE
You’re right. Damn it! But I don’t know where else to go.

ELI
D.C. it is, then.

EXT. LAKESIDE NEXT TO TRUMP’S LIMO BY THE TRUMP BOAT PARADE - DAY

A limousine pulls up next to President Trump’s parked limo, where Bob Mueller and the Secret Service agents are wandering around, looking for Handsome Trump. The limousine slows down, and Witch Hillary’s minions dump Handsome Trump out in front of the slowly moving vehicle, which then screeches away. Handsome Trump rolls to the ground in front of Bob Mueller.

BOB MUELLER
Mr. President! I’m so glad you’re back! I didn’t know what to do! What have they done to you?

HANDSOME TRUMP
It was unspeakably horrible, Bob! I…I’ve been defiled and used in the worst way imaginable! I can’t believe it hat I—a person who has always been staunchly opposed to sexual assault—has been treated this way! ME!

BOB MUELLER
Cheer up, Mr. President. No matter what happened, your supporters adore you. Here, look at this!

Bob Mueller opens up an iPad and launches a video clip.

INTERCUT TO:

EXT. OTHER SIDE OF THE LAKE NEXT TO THE TRUMP BOAT PARADE - DAY

A reporter is interviewing water-logged Kevin, Karen and Lester after the disastrous boat parade.

KAREN
I hold Antifa responsible for sinking our boat! They’ll do anything to undermine our brave, fearless president! It’s Trump Derangement Syndrome!!!

LES
President Trump always speaks for people like us—the true victims in our modern society.

KEVIN
Our rental boat might’ve gone down, but that only makes us more determined to help our president. TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!
(pauses for a second, then turns to Karen)
Hey, that boat insurance covers the whole thing, right?

In the background, MAGA WOMAN in a MAGA hat is holding hands with Michelle, who is still wearing her life preserver, walking around the crowd.

MAGA WOMAN
Anyone lose a little black girl?

INTERCUT TO:

EXT. LAKESIDE NEXT TO TRUMP’S LIMO BY THE TRUMP BOAT PARADE - DAY

BOB MUELLER
See, Mr. President! They believe in you! You can’t let them down! I mean, it’s seriously not possible for you to let them down! They NEED you! Who is going to battle Antifa for them?

HANDSOME TRUMP
(weakly)
I am.

BOB MUELLER
Say it like you mean it, Mr. President!

HANDSOME TRUMP
(louder)
I am.

BOB MUELLER
And who is going to make sure MS-13 and Black Lives Matter don’t go on a rape spree in the suburbs?

HANDSOME TRUMP
I am!

BOB MUELLER
That’s right! You think Mike Pence would be able to do that??? NO!!! And who is going to battle the liberal media and stand up for the most victimized group in the country—white Americans who are tired of being politically correct?

HANDSOME TRUMP
(excited)
I AM!

BOB MUELLER
And who is going to rid the world of the evil cabal of child-eating celebrity pedophiles!!!

HANDSOME TRUMP
(loud and confident)
I AM!!

BOB MUELLER
And I even brought someone else to cheer you up.
(calling off-screen)
Dirk! The President would like to see you now!

DIRK, a big, burly white man, bald with a close-cropped moustache and beard, and with many tattoos showing over his bare, super-muscular arms, walks forward.

DIRK
(blubbering)
Sir! Sir! It’s such an honor to meet you, Sir! Can I can I call you “Sir?”

Dirk falls down to the ground and starts kneeling at Handsome Trump’s feet.

DIRK
Before you, Sir, I didn’t have a job! But..
(sniff/sob!)
Now I have a job…my wife respects me! My wife will have sex with me, Sir! And it’s all because of you!!! YOU!!!!

Dirk continues sobbing inconsolably. Handsome Trump turns to Bob Mueller.

HANDSOME TRUMP
You know me so well, Bob Mueller—you know that the grateful tears of manly men sustain me. Well done!

BOB MUELLER
Thank you, Sir! Now let’s get you out of here so we can plan how to save the country!

INT. PEGGY’S HOME OFFICE – NIGHT

Peggy from the Virginia motel is sitting at a desk in her home, looking at her laptop, which is showing the Q Patriot Militia Facebook page. Peggy’s husband JOE, a classy-looking man in his 60s, dressed for bed, walks up behind her.

JOE
Come to bed, Peggy. You’re torturing yourself with that. The private investigator told us 15 years ago that they lost your brother’s trail. He most likely died a long time ago. He never wanted to be found.

PEGGY
You’re probably right, Joe, but I still just can’t bring myself to believe that. He was always such a sweet, kind soul. It’ll always make me sad that our family wasn’t able to protect him.

JOE
He resented you all for trying.

PEGGY
But not just the cult…before then…back when we were kids…we should’ve seen what was going on.

JOE
Don’t be so hard on yourself—in those days we were all told that priests could do no wrong.

PEGGY
I know. But I still feel awful. And I still feel in my heart that someday I’ll see him again.

Joe leans down and kisses Peggy on the head.

JOE
Okay, Peggy. Come to bed when you’re ready.

Joe walks into the other room. Peggy continues to scroll through comments until she lands on one from “Comet Chaser Charles.”

PEGGY
Joe!!! Joe!!! Come here! It’s him! I know it’s him!

The profile pic of Charles can be seen next to his post: “Off on an adventure to Mar a Lago! Wish us well in our quest to save the children!” Joe comes back into the room, puts his hand on Peggy’s shoulder and looks at the computer screen.

PEGGY
That’s Charles! He posted this morning! He’s heading to Palm Beach, Florida!

JOE
I’ll be damned.

INT. MAR A LAGO BALLROOM – DAY

CHYRON: Thursday, August 20, 2020

Kevin, Karen and Lester and Charles are all dressed up and walk into the ballroom for a luncheon.

KEVIN
This better be worth it. I’m going to have to use my credit account to make our mortgage payment this month. We’re all tapped out.

KAREN
Well, it’s nice to be and all dressed up in fancy new clothes at Mar a Lago! Do you think these new duds show off my new tan?

KEVIN
Lookin’ good, babe. It’s just…I’m starting to panic about money.

KAREN
It’ll all be worth it if we can talk to one of the Trumps. That email you just got HAS to be a mistake! There’s no WAY the Trump organization would only pay a quarter of your invoice!

KEVIN
What’s even worse is that the email says my company did shoddy work. We did an EXCELLENT job! Tony and everyone on site said so!
(coughs a few times)
I thought I could at least drum up business by using them as a reference, but I can’t with that email they sent me!

KAREN
We’ll clear this up! I know we will! Maybe we can even get a photo op with Trump or one of his kids! (coughs)
That’ll be great for marketing!

KEVIN
I just know that if I could talk to President Trump—one self-made man to another—he’d do the right thing immediately!

LES
I don’t know if any of the Trumps will be here at Mar a Lago today, but we were still lucky my connections were able to get us tickets to this luncheon fundraiser.

KEVIN
EXPENSIVE tickets!
(coughs)

A well-dressed man in his early 60s, ALEXANDER HOWELL, walks up to Lester and pats him on the back.

ALEX
Les! I didn’t expect to see you here. It’s been a long time! How have you been?

LES
Alex! It’s great to see you! Kevin, Karen, Charles, I’d like you to meet Alexander Howell, the U.S. Ambassador to Kazakhstan.

KEVIN
It’s an honor to meet you, sir.

KAREN
(to Kevin)
Wow! We really are meeting great people here! Totally worth it! Hey, I see the bar over there. May as well get a few cocktails to loosen up.

KEVIN
Yeah, I may as well try to get my money’s worth.
(To Les and Alex)
We’re heading up to the bar. See you later. Great meeting you, Ambassador.

Karen and Kevin walk away toward the bar. Kevin coughs a few times.

CHARLES
I think I’d like to go mingle as well.

Charles walks away in the other direction.

ALEX
That’s a shame about what happened to Jeffrey, right? Ha, ha!
(makes an exaggerated “whew!” wipe of his brow)
Still, that guy really knew how to throw a great party back in the day!

LES
He certainly did know how to…entertain. What brings you back to the States?

ALEX
I go back and forth. Right now I’m trying to grease the wheels to get some visas for some Eastern European orphan girls to come back here when I’m home this winter. They need someone to take care of them. You know how it goes.
(winks)
Travis is too old for nannies now, but I’ll find another loophole.

LES
Yes…I remember young Travis’s…nannies…fondly.

INTERCUT TO:

INT. DIFFERENT SIDE OF MAR A LAGO BALLROOM – DAY

Charles walks up to a group of three WELL DRESSED WHITE MEN IN SUITS drinking cocktails and laughing, and tries to insert himself into the conversation. These three men are in their 30s and have a brash, possibly coked-up Wall Street vibe.

CHARLES
Hello. My name is Charles. I’m here with some of my new friends. We’re trying to help President Trump save the young victims of sex trafficking.

WELL DRESSED MAN 1
Oh, um, okay…nice to meet you, Charles.
(rolls his eyes at his friends)
So, as I was saying, my stock portfolio is through the roof! As far as I’m concerned, this Coronavirus can take as long as it wants to run through this country!

WELL DRESSED MAN 2
And it mostly just impacts the old and minorities anyway, right?

WELL DRESSED MAN 3
As long as my stocks are doing well, that’s all I care about!

The men clink their glasses in a toast to this. Charles walks away.

INTERCUT TO:

INT. DIFFERENT SIDE OF MAR A LAGO BALLROOM – DAY

Karen and Kevin walk up to a MANAGER.

KAREN
Excuse me!

MANAGER
Yes?

KAREN
Sorry to bother you. You don’t happen to know if President Trump is here, or maybe Don Jr. or Eric? My husband has some important business he needs to talk about with them. The President might know who I am—I’m a frequent commenter on a major QAnon Facebook Group. My comments get hundreds of likes!

Kevin has a brief coughing fit.

MANAGER
(giving a patronizing smile)
I’m afraid you’re not in luck. The Trumps are all in Washington DC preparing for the Republican National Convention.

KEVIN
That figures…just my luck this week!

KAREN
Oh. That’s disappointing. We really needed to see him.

MANAGER
I’m sorry I can’t help you today. But I can give you these autographed photos of the President. These are very popular with his…fans.

The manager picks up a stack of photos from the table and hands them to Kevin.

KEVIN
Thanks, man.
They start walking away.
KAREN
I’m sorry, babe.

KEVIN
I guess that’s it then.
(coughs)

KAREN
What?

KEVIN
My lawyer said I have to file Chapter 13. There’s nothing left. Kilkenny Contracting is done.

KAREN
Oh, hon, NO! Your dad’s company? There has to be another way!
(coughs)

KEVIN
It doesn’t look that way. You said for richer and for poorer, right?

KAREN
You know it. We’re a team.

Karen kisses Kevin on the cheek, and then coughs again.

KAREN (CONT’D)
We’ll get by. People like us always do.

INTERCUT TO:

INT. DIFFERENT SIDE OF MAR A LAGO BALLROOM – DAY

Charles walks up to two more WELL DRESSED WHITE MEN. These men are in their late 50s/early 60s and seem like old money.

CHARLES
Hello, my name is Charles. I’m very interested in helping to end child sex trafficking. I was led to believe I’d find like-minded people here in Mar a Lago. What do you think would be most impactful way to help?

WELL DRESSED MAN 3
Right, right, of course….we’re actually talking about our own children.

WELL DRESSED MAN 4
So I hear your Steven landed a high-level position at the Justice Department?

WELL DRESSED MAN 3
Yes, he started a few months ago…I’m glad my family’s contributions to the Republican party were appropriately appreciated!

INTERCUT TO:

INT. DIFFERENT SIDE OF MAR A LAGO BALLROOM – DAY

Les and Alex are talking and laughing, drinking cocktails. Mindy Ling—the Asian woman who had been driving the Morales sisters—walks up to them.

MINDY LING
Alex! I didn’t know you’d be in town for this. And is that…Lester? It’s been long time!

Alex kisses Mindy on the cheek.

ALEX
Mindy! Thank god! I was hoping I’d see you here today!

MINDY LING
It’s been too long, Ambassador! You look stressed! You need a massage? We just got some nice young new…talent…not yet broken in…young like you like. I can give you a deal on sisters!
(handing Alex a business card.)
We have our VIP massages at a private estate in Palm Beach now—very elegant…and discreet.
.
ALEX
That sounds wonderful, Mindy. I’ll schedule an appointment tonight. Good…massages…haven’t been as easy to come by in Kazakhstan as I had imagined.

MINDY LING
And what about you, Les? I think I have some new talent that can give you the services you like. (hands Les a business card)

LES
That’s exactly what I came down here for! I can’t seem to find good…service…in the New Jersey suburbs.

Les then turns slightly and is startled to see that Charles has been standing directly behind him, listening to everything. Charles continues to stare directly at Mindy Ling, who doesn’t recognize him.

MINDY LING
(to Charles)
Are you a friend of Lester’s?

Charles nods. Les tries to shake his head to subtly discourage her from talking to him, but she doesn’t notice.

MINDY LING
Any friend of Lester’s is a good friend of mine! I’m happy to get new customers at Mar a Lago! Here, take my card. Set up appointment. Miss Mindy brings happy good times to everyone!
(handing Charles a business card)

CHARLES
Thank you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to head back to our lodgings. I think I’ve seen all I need to see of Mar a Lago for the day.

INTERCUT TO:

EXT. MAR A LAGO - DAY

Charles steps outside, he picks up his phone and makes a call.

CHARLES (INTO DEVICE)
Is this the sex trafficking hotline? I’d like to speak to Detective Grady please…I have an important tip to follow up on the information I gave to him yesterday. It’s extremely urgent.

EXT. PALM BEACH MANSION - EVENING

Charles looks down at Mindy Ling’s business card to verify that he’s at the right address. He stands across the street from an opulent Palm Beach-style mansion with a gate in front. He witnesses Ambassador Howell’s chauffeured car drive him past the gate. A moment or two pass, and then he sees Les get out of a cab and ring the bell, and then speak into the intercom. The gates open, and Les walks in, as the gates close behind him. Moments later, police cars pull up to the front with their lights flashing. One of the officers gets out and manages to force open the gate, so the police cars continue to the front of the opulent mansion. Charles crosses the street and walks through the open gate onto the property, where he stands slightly behind a palm tree to witness the rest. The police bang on the mansion door and knock it open. Some police go inside, while others wait by their police cars, guns drawn, outside. Les jumps out of a first-floor window, with his shirt unbuttoned and bare chest/stomach exposed, but an officer tackles him, puts him in handcuffs, and leads him back to the police car. Lester looks around and notices Charles by the gate.

LES
YOU??? YOU DID THIS??? After all I did for you? HOW DARE YOU!!!

The police officer pushes Les into the backseat of the police car. Next, several officers bring out the handcuffed Ambassador Howell, wearing only a silk Hefner-esque robe, and put him into the back of another car. The police officers also take Mindy Ling and her Henchman out of the mansion in handcuffs and put them into the back of yet another car. After the pedophiles are taken away, the police (including female officers) start bringing out six young teenage girls—including Lucia and Selena Morales. Charles walks over to one of the officers, DETECTIVE GRADY, a white man in his 50s, who is standing by one of the police cars nearby.

CHARLES
Detective Grady?

DETECTIVE GRADY
Yeah, that’s me.

CHARLES
I’d like to thank you. My name is Charles Perkins.

DETECTIVE GRADY
Oh, you’re the one who called in this tip. I need to thank YOU! I’ve been trying to end Mindy Ling’s sex trafficking ring for a few years now, but never had enough to get a warrant—especially not in this town.

CHARLES
I’m so glad you were able to help them. And how are the girls…the children?

DETECTIVE GRADY
We’ll have counselors talking to the girls. We don’t know the extent of what they’ve gone through yet. We might’ve gotten here in time to save a few of the newest recruits from the worst abuse. I hope.
(Looks over at the girls)
Two of the girls think their parents were deported by ICE to Mexico. We’re going to try to do everything we can to reunite them.

Lucia looks over at Charles talking to Detective Grady. Recognizing him from the park and realizing that he had something to do with helping her, she gives a shy wave and a slight smile of gratitude.

CHARLES
(with a tear in his eye)
That’s wonderful to hear, Detective. Wonderful to hear.

BEGIN MONTAGE:

EXT. WORTH AVENUE - SUNSET

Charles strolls around the wealthy street, stopping to smell flowers.

EXT. THE BREAKERS - NIGHT

Charles walks past the famous Breakers Hotel.

EXT. BEACH - NIGHT

Charles takes a nighttime stroll along the beach, holding his sandals in his hands and walking barefoot in the ocean. He looks up at the starry sky.

CHARLES
Hi Friends!

EXT. MARINA - SUNRISE

Charles strolls around the docks as boaters begin to head out to sea.

END MONTAGE.

EXT. LESTER’S RV – DAY

CHYRON: Friday, August 21, 2020

Charles walks up to Lester’s RV.

INT. LESTER’S RV - DAY

Charles walks into the RV. Karen and Kevin are lying on the pull-out couch. Michelle is putting cold washcloths on their heads. Occasionally they cough in their sleep. Kevin’s breathing seems labored.

CHARLES
Michelle, is everything okay here?

MICHELLE
I’m being a nurse like Mommy and Daddy. Granddad sounds funny.

Karen rolls over and starts to sit up.

KAREN
Charles, where have you been? It’s been a rough night. We haven’t heard from Les, either.

CHARLES
I don’t know how to tell you this, but Lester was arrested last night.

KAREN
Arrested? For what?

Kevin rolls over and wakes up, coughing.

KEVIN
(breathing heavily)
What’s this about Les?

CHARLES
He was arrested for paying for…services…from children…little girls.

KAREN AND KEVIN
(in unison)
WHAT???

KAREN
No, that CAN’T be right!

KEVIN
I don’t understand.

CHARLES
There was a woman at Mar a Lago yesterday…offering “massages” from young girls. Lester was one of her customers. So was Ambassador Howell.

KEVIN
NO!
(coughs)
Les can’t be a pedophile…that doesn’t make any sense.

KAREN
Oh, wait—look. We got a text from him. He says he’s having legal troubles so he’s going to stay in Florida to straighten them out. He asked us to drive the RV back up to Jersey for him.

KEVIN
I’d like to hit the road.
(coughs)
I’m not feeling great. I must’ve gotten sick when we were thrown in the water yesterday. I think I’d like to be home.

KAREN
We have to stop in DC on the way! Based on Q’s latest clue, I think President Trump will need us in D.C.
(coughs again)
Killary’s going to try to pull something MAJOR at the RNC!
(coughs again)
And President Trump is always there for US! We can’t let him down now! And if we help him beat Killary and the Antifa looters, he’ll definitely pay the bill for your contracting work! This might be our best chance to meet him in person and show him how much we support him!

KEVIN
Charles, what do you think?

CHARLES
To be honest, Kevin, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are better ways for me to help children than following QAnon and the President.

KAREN
What? That’s crazy talk!

CHARLES
In my life I’ve believed a lot of things that many people have considered crazy, but I no longer think QAnon makes sense. I think I’m going to stay in Florida for a bit. I could use a few days by the ocean to reflect.

KEVIN
We’ll miss you, buddy, but good luck.
(to Karen)
Karen, are you okay to drive the RV at least part way to DC? I’m not feeling too hot…maybe if I sleep for a few more hours I’ll be okay.
(coughs)

KAREN
Yeah, I think so. I think my fever broke sometime overnight. I’m feeling a little better.

CHARLES
Good luck to both of you. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Goodbye, Michelle.